Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Defining right and left


Hadley Freeman in the Guardian is having a shot at defining left and right:
'Having helmet-like hair: rightwing. Eating vegetables: leftwing. Religion: rightwing. Science: leftwing. But really, the possibilities here are endless! Flowers: rightwing (so decorative, so expensive); trees: leftwing (so climate change-y, so environmental). Dresses: rightwing (so ladylike); trousers (on women): leftwing (so Hillary Clinton-y).'

Lentils are left wing but I love them. All vegetables are left wing except asparagus.

Beautiful women are right wing especially but by no means only blondes. Mrs Basescu and the late Mrs Brezhnev are left wing. Tight skirts are right wing. Comfortable shoes left wing.

Left wing is not sexy, nor are any vegetables except asparagus.

Chocolate is right wing. Fruit left wing.

Beaches are very right wing except in England/UK. Mountains too of course. Marshes are left-wing.

Mobile telephones are very right wing and have contributed to the deaths of perhaps millions of Congolese.

Oxford is right-wing, Cambridge left-wing.

Romania is right wing, especially the PSD. England is left wing including the Conservative Party.

Scotland and rain are left wing. So are gerbils.

1 comment:

  1. Dogs are right wing, cats are left wing.