Thursday, 21 June 2012

Imagine if the universe were a Jackie Collins novel

imagining an alternative universe in which Kim Karashian, Cheryl Cole  and the characters in the Daily Mail online were real and you met people like that. It would be like living in a novel by Martin Amis. Or much worse Jackie Collins. 

Imagine if the universe were a Jackie Collins novel.

My God, perhaps it is.

Bucharest, at any rate, perhaps the rest of the world too.

I usually find pulp fiction intolerably boring but I read a lot of Jackie Collins, I am ashamed to say, when I was at university. She can write. (So for example could Edgar Wallace.)  But at university I always thought how dull these characters were who I was sure had never read Elizabethan comedies or seventeenth century prose. The sports cars and big houses without any intellectual life seemed pitiable and I suppose it still does.

But Jackie Collins. whose characters are really North London Jews like the Collins girls, transposed to Hollywood, does a fine line in bosomy female psychopaths. Amis is good on those too. Cruelty is part of the appeal of both writers, otherwise so different. 

There is certainly a Jackie Collins novel to be written set in Bucharest but it must be written by a Romanian woman not by me.

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