100 British comedians have been asked to choose their favourite one-line jokes and the three that came top were these, all from television comedies.
1 Captain Mainwaring to Pike, when asked his name by a U-boat captain: “Don’t tell him, Pike.” (Dad’s Army)
2 Tony Hancock, on learning how much blood he has to give during a blood donation: “A pint? Why, that’s very nearly an armful.” (Hancock’s Half Hour)
3 Father Ted tries to explain perspective to Father Dougal, saying: “These [toy cows] are small. But the ones out there [real cows] are far away.” (Father Ted)
The first and third are favourites of mine but I like even more this, by Bob Monkhouse.
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.But for the best telling of a joke ever I vote for this clip of Terry-Thomas.